The Family Fantasy
The Family Fantasy
by Jackie Woods
Did you have siblings when you were growing up or did you give birth to children of your own? If so, then you will understand me when I say coming from the same bloodline does not create same personalities. A bloodline does hand down similar physical characteristics, but no two people are ever alike. Even with identical twins, you will find very different personalities. There may be common preferences, but each person is a unique spark of the Divine.
Even though most people will agree with everything I have just stated about differences in people of the same family, they may very well fall victim to the “family fantasy.” In families where this fantasy has occurred, each member is expected to maintain certain family patterns. These patterns must carry on the family life style, belief system, and illusion that the family is a close-knit unit. It doesn’t matter whether the patterns fit the individuality of the person or not. Family tradition must reign.
I remember well the time I told my Mother that I had voted against our family tradition. She cried for a whole week and told me repeatedly that I had let the family down. But did I stop there? Oh, no! Two years later I told her that I had joined a church that was a different denomination from the one to which our family had always belonged. She cried again, and wailed long and loud about how she had failed me as a Mother. Yet I still tried to maintain the illusion that we were a close-knit family. I pretended to laugh at my brother’s humor, which was not the least bit like mine. I made routine phone calls to stay in touch with everyone in my family, even though our life paths had parted years before.
It wasn’t until I became part of a spiritual community where differences were part of the definition, that I finally realized no fantasy was needed in order to be part of a family. I no longer have to laugh when my humor doesn’t match theirs. I can vote differently with no tears or recriminations. I can have my own truths, choose my own life style, and touch base when I feel like it, without guilt.
I have discovered that it is only by giving up the “family fantasy” you inherited from your blood family that you can begin to learn what the heart energy of family really looks like. This does not mean that you have to disown your blood family. It only means that once you are free of the bonds created by the “family fantasy,” you can begin to appreciate the full spectrum of differences present in your family. And once freed from the invisible film of illusion that covered you, the world can become a potential family. You will begin to discover parts of yourself that heretofore had been bound by tradition – parts that can now be shared with many people. It is important that all this freedom take place under the tutelage of the heart energy of family because the heart can then draw other people to you who are redefining family by the code of the heart. This new and enlarged sense of a heart family will not only be a step towards freedom, but the beginning of your path to oneness.
© 2008, Jackie Woods
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jackie Woods is the founder and director of Adawehi Institute and Healing Center in Columbus, NC. Jackie offers her Awareness Courses at the Healing Center, taking people beyond the basic teachings of metaphysics to an awareness and appreciation of living from their heart essence. This in-depth study is intended to give students tools for lasting change and fulfillment in life. She is the author of “Soulmate or Cell Mate,” “Journey to Ultimate Spirituality” and “Spiritual Energy Cycles” along with numerous audio productions, including Energetic Parenting. Jackie’s teachings and courses are available via the Internet at jackiewoods.org.