Who Am I?

From: http://www.namastecafe.com 

Hi! My name is Christine Brody and I am 31 years old. And I have come to understand more about my Indigo self. I read a book this past summer that lead me to this site. Upon reading the poetry, I could see that some of my poems reflected my longing and searching to connect and find others that were like me. Almost two years later, I sit here before you, and I can finally say I have found peace within. And have come to accept and be “honored” to be one of the first indigos.

I may be called weird, or that I walk to my own beat— but who cares! I love who I am, and that I have the courage to speak truth, seek knowledge, and become most of all someone who tries to always give UNCONDITIONALLY. Unconditional acceptance, love, patience, friendship, and I have learned that this comes from realizing this: “who am I to judge anyone else” ? I am not perfect, I don’t know it all. But, the path that I am on now, is leading me to find peace within. And by sharing my experiences I teach, not by preaching. I don’t know the fancy words, I just follow my intuition; spread my wings and fly from conventions. And it seems to work for me.

Normal? Me? NO, Indigo.

I had always marched about telling people I was an indigo. They would ask what’s that? and I could not tell them, I did not know why I would say it, or I could not explain what an indigo was, I did not know what an indigo was myself. Unknowingly, and feeling misunderstood, I wrote this poem two years ago, before discovering that I was an indigo!! It illustrates the frustration, and emotion that I experienced in my search to find something, or someone that could explain what I knew. All of the books I read, it was like confirming things I knew. I recently have had past life regressions that have lead me to a whole new level of awareness and ability to find peace within. So, looking back at this piece, I see it as a benchmarker, for me to gauge how much I have grown and changed, yet I am essentially the same person I have always been. I guess I finally gained the ability to accept and love, and forgive myself and move on.

Here is the poem:

Who am I?
A question that warrants my attention.
Deep longings to become aware.

Awareness beyond this existence.
A collective history, meant to be uncovered.
Glimpses of knowledge, I am aware.
But do I believe?? Expression helps complete me.

A chance to walk in daylight.
If I choose my path with care.
consciousness overwhelming my earthly senses.
Choices become moving sidewalks; zigging, zagging through eternity.

Choices aligned with my belief, my purpose for being. Undenied.
Sacrificing expectations and ideals, becoming the pedestals from which to fall.
Judgments made with knowing eyes;
unclouded by experience and understanding.

Often feeling lonely,
wanting to be what is expected.
Called normal? that could never be.
Readjustment of myself–hearing the higher call.

Desires for connection, feeling the need to seek,
within myself, with myself, and see the real me.
Acknowledging my gifts and talents;
Knowing I will always succeed.

Growing comes naturally for me, more often than most.
Leaving time and space behind, at light speed.
Urging feelings tell me to move;
and once again I am off.

On a mission to understand my existence.
Seeking out my truth, expressing it through my admissions.
Living to be, and knowing it will lead me through–
through what? where will I go next?

written 3/02

This poem I have written more recently: I am in much better space and have found a way to express it:::

Just one lifetime is such a menial thing
when you step back and see the whole scheme.
Minutes, days, years pass by without much notice.
Until the awakening- blossom of the lotus.

A moment in time when we make the choice.
To see the whole picture, and utilize our voice.
Choices to move, grow, and evolve.
If we try to go back, doomed to live with a problem we can¹t seem to solve.

Going back creates doubt, grief and shutdown.
The slowdown of a process, oblivion with a frown.
Some adapt and seem to survive,
haunted by karma until the next life.

Should we take the other option? Open the flow?
If taken, life will be filled with opportunities to grow.
Some of us attend with more intensity;
seeking to see the Universe with clarity.

Regardless of how or when or how fast,
we all will eventually learn from our past- learning that will last.
Creating the evolution of our being;
beyond this lifetime, we¹re finally seeing.

This knowledge that survives mortality.
Beyond the body and mind, into spirituality.
History coveted by our very soul;
retention of this history, the ultimate goal.

Future trips beyond the awakening;
easier to unfold-less effort for the re-opening.
Giving us sight at a much younger age,
Allowing us less strife, frustration and rage.

For there is peace, calming and residing within;
somehow knowing that there¹s a prize at the end.
Appreciating our limited time- getting into gear.
Now moving faster through earthly sin and fear.

Sharing the knowledge that we all have a purpose-
much more to do, below the surface.
Giving and receiving- making the circle complete,
Helping ourselves, fighting self defeat.

Time ticks on, we are almost done,
Realization that our earthly existence is under the gun.
A couple of trips before the migration;
Division for sensory life and life beyond illusion.

This time my bags are packed, I am ready to go.
Paying my last bit of debt, and a few lessons to know.
Saying goodbye to those I have known through my eternal years.
Ready to travel, but before we go, stop , reflect, and feel the excitement as our time for departure, nears.

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~ by indigolifecenter on January 21, 2008.

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